Saturday, 13 November 2010

Review: Woody Two-Legs Attack of the Zombie Pirates

Zombies, pirates...where are the robots!?

And what about that title? Quite a mouthfull and (don't hate me) while it's fairly descriptive it's not as memorable as it could have been.

I'm going to jump straight to the actual game now, which is an arcade defensive game where you control Woody's ship from a top down point of view and steer it left/right around an Island where you have burried your gold. it might have been Mr Jones's gold (the token bad guy of the game) but it's yours now! Unfortunately he wants it back and a hoard of zombie pirate ships are decending upon you to take it all back.

Fortunately you have cannons to defend yourself, unfortunately so do they but fortunately you can pick up powerups to give you an advantage, fortunately you're a bit tougher than them and also fortunately your ship respawns as many times as required!

So far it all sounds quite promising then...


The firing of the cannons deserves a bit of an extra mention, it's sideways firing for both you and the baddies which gives this a different feel to most shooters of this kind. Each side can only shoot a few cannon balls at a time before they need time to recharge which stops you from spamming and forces you (quite rightly) to think a little more tactically when approaching enemy ships. Since they can only attack you from a side on angle, your approach means a lot and sailing across their path while firing might only get you one or two hits but they can't fire back!

If you don't get those pesky enemies early enough they'll make a beeline for your island and start nabbing the gold and if they get it all it's game over! You can, if you're quick enough, grab some of it back by destroying enemy ships that are running away with their spoils. However the gold they drop is represented by blue cubes rather than floatings chests as I was expecting!
So the powerups are a mixed back, they're all represented by cubes but with different colours/symbols on their sides. It was pretty clear that you should pick up anything that didn't have a skull on the side but you rarely know what you're going to get anyway with the powerups. Sometimes you'll get a score multiplier or some extra gold (aside from the blue cubes previously mentioned.)

But you can also get some nifty new abilities or temporary upgrades. Examples are fireball cannons (I liked these), faster movement for a brief time or a small amount of additional hit points. But you also get some very useful special abilities that can be saved up and used when needed. My favourite of these has to be the suicidal (I guess?) Homing Dolphins! Very useful and horrifying at the same time, do they survive the impact?! We must be told!

I'm not really much of a pirate fan (see the above robot question) but I did try to get into the spirit of the game by shouting "Arrr!" after ever kill. The cartoony graphical style helped me get into the mood too but I wasn't sure if Woody was as keen as I was when reading the short story bits in between levels. For him it seemed like it was just another standard day as a pirate being chased by zombies after his treasure, I'd hate to see what he thinks is a problem!


The music varies between spooky and jolly, as it should since the game features zombie pirates. The folky tunes are far more fun and work better than I would have guessed with the setting. Sound effects are a bit less inspiring, not enough "Arrrs!" or "Meharties!" for my liking.

Still this is a great blast at a great price for such a blast! Only £3.50 on gamers gate! So if you're looking for some simple arcade fun you can't go wrong with Woody Two-Legs and the Attack of the Zombie Pirates.

Fancy giving it a go? There's a demo here and the full game can be bought from Gamers Gate here for that ridiculously low price.

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